STEWART FACES CAPTAINCY AXE

Match Report: 27.5.08

Colours: Stew, Rich, Paul P, Paul B, John, Den, Tony, Bob, Andy (2nd half)

Yellows: Rob, Rock, Rupert, Steve C, Scott, Jimmer, Badge, James, Andy (1st half)

Score: Colours 2 - 7 Yellows

This season of Tuesday night football is turning into something of a nightmare for Stew. You could watch Nightmare on Elm Street, or Hellraiser, or the Saw films, but this is a real life horror show for Stew played out every week as defeat follows defeat, in fact Stew has won twice in 13 recorded matches. At the end of the match a few complaints were made and Stew said he would gladly give it up, but nobody ever comes forward. Stew did remind a little of Avram Grant as he slowly trudged off the pitch comforting Tony as he was crying.

The Yellows got off to a good start when Badge scored and then Rob went a mazy run and slotted in for two. In fact Rob seemed to have gained massive confidence from his MoM performance last week as he went on solo runs, made vital blocks and scored twice, again his aggressive grunting in the tackle was there for all of us to hear, Monica Seles would be pleased with that (target audience joke).

At 4-1 down, after the impressive Badge had completed his hatrick, Andy changed sides. This did give the Colours greater possession and more of a cutting edge, but chance after chance were spurned as Rupert, Steve, Rob, James and co defended solidly, though with Andy, Rich, Bob, Paul P and Stew attacking it was a little bit of too many cooks. In fact despite their greater possession and chances it was the Yellows who added to their tally and a late Colour goal was scant consolation.

Comedy moment: Jimmer's Cameroon top seemed to be the butt of a lot of jokes tonight.

Man of the Match: Rob again after another outstanding display, the only negative comment to make was the fact he did not get my joke about coming and a prostitute! No not the Panda one about eating shoots and leaves.

STEWART LEFT FRUSTRATED

Match Report: 20.5.08

Colours: Stewart, Andy, James, Tony, John, Shane, D, Paul P, Paul B
Yellows: Rob, Rich, Rock, Rich M, Rupert, Scott, Badge, Steve C, Bob

Score: Colours 4 - 6 Yellows

This game was really decided within the first 10 minutes as the Yellows were rampant and scored 4 quick fire goals through the in form Rich who scored 2, Badge and Bob. The Colours were all over the place and looked like conceding on every Yellow attack, poor old Shane in goal did not know what was going on and 10 minutes later it got worse for him when he somehow let Bob score directly from a corner. To be fair though the score would have been a lot more if it was not for some fine saves from Shane, who threw himself about like a possessed cat. By the way what do you call a sceptic cat? A puss(e)

Eventually the Colours grew into the game but at 5 nil down they had a mountain to climb and they looked destined not to score as they were denied time again by last ditched tackles and saves. Rob was particularly having a strong game at the back, full of aggression in the tackle. This just led to Stewart becoming more and more frustrated with himself, his team and the Yellows. The words clutching and straws came to mind when he claimed a handball after Scott saved it in goal! He then went for a theatrical dive when Rupert blew on him and then kept reducing the score (a weekly Stew trick).

However Stew did have something to cheer when he fired in following good work by Andy (who was running his socks off for the Colours). However his joy was short lived when Scott scored on his second attempt. The Colours did have a late rally as Paul, Andy and Stew combined well, but in the end it was all in vain.

Man of the Match: Rich looked good again for this award as he started well, but Rob was on fire at the back and played well all game deserving the award this week.

By the way could no more Rich's turn up it is becoming a nightmare! I like the way Rob chose all the R's! Maybe we can have a team of R's soon.

COLOURS IN CONTROVERSIAL WIN

Match Report: 13.5.08

Colours: Stewart, Rich, Felix, Rupert, John, Paul B, Paul P, Rock, Andy (after 25 mins!)
Yellows: Rob, Steve C, Tony, Badge, Jimmer, D, Bob, James, Simon

Score: Colours 3 - 2 Yellows

This game, unfortunately, will be remembered for the controversy around it. With the game evenly balanced at 2-2 there was an almighty goal scramble in the Colours goal and the ball was very close to going in on 2 occasions, however after a long consolation between the linesman and ref they decided against it. In fairness Rupert approached a very honest player, who was right on the line and he (only known as F to protect his identity in case of reprisals) stated the ball did not cross the line.

The Colours, starting with one less man, made a great start but wasted several good chances to take an early lead. The game then became a tight affair with neither team creating too many chances, but the late arrival of Andy did spark the Colours into life and it was they who took the lead.

However back came the Yellows and they levelled through the impressive Badge and then were soon in the lead. The Colours really should have got back into it but wasted several chances including Rupert who had a penalty saved by James, he then saved a Rupert header from a fine Felix corner, but worse was to come when Andy blasted the ball wide when the goal was at his mercy. However they did level through one of the best goals scored on a Tuesday night and I am sure the watching Tom would not argue with that. Rupert, Andy and Rich combined with some great one touch passing and moving, with the former setting up the latter for a simple tap in.

Controversy then struck but the Colours continued to be wasteful, especially Stu who, on at least one occasion had men over but chose the wrong option by going on his own. However he did make amends by volleying in a corner and wrapping up the win.

I am now off for a long holiday, maybe a year, while this controversy blows over. At least I protected F by not giving his name out so he is ok!

Man of the Match: A bit of a head scratcher this week, but it goes to Rich for another good game, he was the main threat for the Colours this week and was the goal scorer of one of the all time Tuesday night goals.

ANDY STARS IN COMFORTABLE WIN FOR COLOURS

Match Report: 6.5.08

Colours: Rob, Badge, Jimmer, Andy, Paul L, Rock, Simon, Steve C
Yellows: Stew, Felix, Rupert, Tony, Paul P, Paul B, James, Rich

Score: Colours 7-4 Yellows

Many wise words have been told to us as youngsters, like look before you leap, don't talk to strangers, don't support the skate etc. The opposite of these wise words would be Stew saying I know the best team to pick.

It was always going to be a tough task for a team with a lot of ageing legs in it (no offence), but Stew did not want to hear of it, as far as he was concerned it was fine, but 3 nil down within the first 15 minutes, did appear that it would be a damage limitation job for Stew and his chums.

But to be fair to the Yellows they clawed themselves back into the game when Rich seized upon a Rupert through ball and then Stew fired in. A goal a piece was traded between the teams and at this point it the game was in the balance as both teams missed good chances.

However the Colours did look like a sleepy lion biding its time waiting to strike and so they did with 3 quick goals to seal the fate of the game, with Andy, Jim, Rob and Badge creating problems for the overworked defence. A late Rich goal was merely consolation for the Yellows.

Accident prone moment: Poor old Rock, so many accidents last year, falling over the goal etc, tonight he had another heavy fall after going for a header, but he bravely limped on, more bruising for Rock.

Man of the Match: This week goes to Andy who was at his probing best setting up goals and scoring them too.