MAN OF THE MATCH

New for 2007 will be a man of the match award on the website. I will decide on who this will be after every game. This will not necessarily be the best player (as we all know if this was the case Stew would win every week), but awarded to the player who preforms above their own ability. At the end of the season the person with the most MoM awards will win the website trophy. Good luck to you all.

CHRISTMAS CHEER FOR JAMES AND ROB

Congratulations to Rob (most improved player) and to James (player of the year). I think most of us agree that two of them deserved these awards. James now joins the illustrious list of winners along with Chippy (2002) Matty (2003) Badge (2004) and Jimmer (2005).

After winning his award the bashful and modest James left it for his agent (Mark Abrahams) to say a few words on his behalf. 'James would like to thank everyone for this award, at the end of the day you lot are a load of s**t which has made me look good and other than that I am average. As you lot are so s**t I look forward to retaining my trophy next year. Normally I can't hit a cow's arse with a banjo, but as you lot are so s**t you have made me look good' (seems like this is being repeated). It must be added (in case of a possible legal battle with James) his agent was under the influence of Cobra at the time and James may not be in agreement with some or all of his agents quotes.

Hard luck to the consistent Paul B who was joint runner up with the 2004 winner Badge. Also on behalf of the boys thanks to Tom for another year of Tuesday football. There is one more award to be decided which is dedicated to our idol and is called the 'Pete Swift Top Man Award.' I think anyone who knew Pete would be proud to win this. The award will go someone within the group who has contributed, achieved or given something special, either within football or outside of it. Nominations to Tom, Al or John.

So what a good evening was had by all last night. I must admit I enjoyed sitting next to fantasy boy Stewart. Some of his quotes last night were: 'I can bench 15 reps of 180kg.' 'I told those birds over there that I run several businesses and I think they believe me.' 'At the end of the day everyone knows I am the best player on a Tuesday night.' 'Nobody can catch me when I run with the ball, only James sometimes.' 'James you were s**t 5 years ago and had no touch, but now fair play you are a good player now and your touch is better.' 'I have voted for you every year James, but I voted for Mark this year.' When asked why Stew replied 'Mark is a good player.' By this time Stew is in a 4 foot hole.

I hope you are enjoying the website, please send in comments on anything you want including ideas on what could be added or removed. The match reports and fun columns will continue next year.

Yours Rup

CHIPPY A FALLEN HERO?

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 2002 player of the year Graham Feltham aka Chippy. He used to terrorize the likes of Steve Colmer with his powerful strikes. What a player and usually the first player to be picked on a Tuesday night(unless he turned up saying 'I can't play up front or defence because I will have to stretch myself a bit and I don't want to tweak my groin again.' Let's face it that area has not been tweaked for a while 2 kids guarentees no tweaking).

You might be glad to hear that I recently caught up with our once admired hero.

'So Chip do you miss football?' 'No! I have long hung up my boots and have no regrets.'

'So what do you do with yourself now?' 'Well I have now taken up tiddlywinks, he then proceeded to show me his impressive collection of trophies.'

'Do you really get a buzz from this?' 'Oh yes, recently I got a wink in my eye and it was quite painful, I recently had to have time off the game as I pulled a muscle in my finger.' He went on to say 'Competition is fierce in the Southampton area and I recently beat the Soton Number 3 Bob who is an 85 year old Millbrook man.' I asked whether he had seen Al from Tuesday nights playing Tiddlywinks, but he hadn't as yet.

As Chippy went on to discuss the art of tiddlywinks I could not help thinking what a waste of a football talent and what a loss he is. I quickly made my excuses to leave after Chippy's lovely daughter fetched his slippers and pipe.

So look out for our fallen hero, you may see him in the Echo under the tiddlywink section.

Next week where is Mark?

LATE SUPER SAVE FRUSTRATES YELLOWS

Match Report 12.12.06

Colours: Rupert, Geoff, James, Mark, Rob, John, Simon, Badge, Scott, Felix (1st half)
Yellows: Tom, TJ, Jamie, Jimmer, Heath, Paul B, Al, Shane, Tony,Felix (2nd half)

Score Colours 3-2 Yellows.

A super late save from Rupert, from a Jimmer shot denied the Yellows a draw in a scrappy evenly contested game. Rupert knew it was a good save when he got the royal seal of approval from Simo.

The game had started so well for Yellows with Jamie tucking away an early strike after some casual defending from Mark. The game then turned into a scrappy affair with Geoff taunting the oppostion with you lot are s***t and you cheating git Al etc.

This may have helped the colours as they went into a 3-1 lead making the man advantage tell, with this Felix swopped sides.

There was also a side show of strange moments, well they say it is the season for Pantos. We had Jimmer heading the ball back to his own goal from the half way line, which caused chaos. Jimmer had a barrage of abuse but laughed this off. We had Scooty the clown who was laughing at every mistake. We then had Tony do a belly flop onto the floor after that Geoff brushed him with his small finger. Unbelieveably he won a freekick, I am sure he has been watching Drogba, shame on you Tony.

So the game finnished with Rupert held aloft as the hero, well ok we walked off with Geoff asking whether my save would make the headlines, ok so I enjoy the limelight, please don't deny me this.

I won't be there next week so the match reports will continue next year. Have a good Christmas lads and I will see you on 22.12.06 for the curry night. Don't miss some festive reports including what ever happened to the one time player of the year Chippy?

Profile Update

Sorry two more profiles to add on.

Scott aka the Joker. If you are playing on a Tuesday night and you hear some hysterical laughing don't despair it is likely to be Scott. Scott likes to see the lighter side of the game. Once a super keeper (until he got chipped in a 5-a-side goal and the confidence went), Scott now applies his trade up front and is popping up with some useful goals.

TJ aka Hooker. No he does not play rugby or spends his nights down Derby road (not that I know I am not in that roasting business anyway) but the TV programe, ok if you are under 35 you won't get that. Anyway TJ is quite a new member (as John recently said who are you?) But TJ seems to have the complete game, skilful, good touch, a good passer, strong, quick and like Jamie he looks the part.

Player Profiles

Sorry guys due to injury (broken toe nail) I am unable to write up this weeks report, though I understand it was a good 3-3 draw. However do not despair player profiles are here:

• Rupert aka Henry Winter (who? he writes for the Telegraph). I have a left foot and can score goals.
• Felix aka 100 per centre. I call him this because he does exactly what it says on the tin. He works tirelessly in midfield, attack and defence, can't moan about that.
• Stewart aka one-two. A common phrase used by Stew. Despite his ageing years he still has the pace of a deer on drugs. Stew has the ability to go past people and score good goals. One of the higher goal scorers on a Tuesday night.
• James aka the unmoveable object. James is a rock in defence, as strong as an ox and not many people get past him. James is like a good wine and seems to get better with age.
• Mark Badger aka Badge, Badger. Mark is another high scorer on Tuesdays. Mark is as quick as a greyhound. You may think you have the ball but Badge is deceptifully quick and can knick a ball off you before you know it. He also has a good shot on him.
• Mark Abs aka Cameo (know not the cod piece lot) cameo because that is all we see of him these days. The new baby and demanding jobs mean we only get rare glimpses of the boy wonder. Great touch, great vision, great range of passing and some wonder goals makes this veteran worth the admission charges. Also good in goal!
• Heath aka Mr. Defence. Heath joins James as the top defender. Heath also enjoys a venture up the pitch and likes to go past a few people, come back and go past them again just for good measure.
• Al aka super Al. Al may move around like your uncle Bob in old peoples home, but he still has some good touches and moments of class. You just knew this old boy was good when the ball was just pig skin.
• Tom aka the leader. Tom is our inspiriational leader and founder of Tuesday night. Still a quality player and has the ability to get out of tight corners with a little sway of the hips. Reads the game well.
• Paul B aka Mr.Consistency. Never lets you down hence the name, up and down, likes to organise a team and an important player to have in your team.
• John aka Johnny boy. A solid defender, reads the game well which helps him to time tackles to perfection, there has definitely been some Bobby Moore moments for John down the years.
• Geoff aka Simo. Nobody better in the air and starting to show that he has probably the most powerful shot. Recent efforts have reminded of us the Dutch in the 70's. If he does go in goal, then as you would expect, difficult to beat.
• Bob aka Billy Whizz. Bob can go from the sublime to the ridiculous, but does have the ability to fly past people and score good goals. With a low centre of gravity, he is not always easy to play against.
• Jim(mer)(my) aka Fireman Sam. Sorry could not think of anything else (he is a fireman by the way). Once winner of player of the year. A good all round game, strong on the ball, a good shot a good tackler and a bit of pace too.
• Shane aka Paul Robinson. Shane always a willing keeper and has some made some great saves. Shane also likes to get on the pitch and comes up with some goal potching goals.
• Steve C aka Braveheart, due to the fact he never shirks a tackle (Not!) Steve is another consistent preformer who uses the ball well and is another good reader of the game.
• Rob aka Ruddock. Has the Ruddock look about him. Rob keeps getting better, strong in the tackle and can show a turn of pace up front. Starting to score some goals now as well.
• Simon aka the ox. Simon is another strong player who will not pull out of many tackles and another good player to have in your defence.
• Jamie aka Beckham. Jamie has the look of a good player and doesn't disappoint, good touch, good passer of the ball and is a scorer of some great long range goals. A must for every posh girl.
• Mark aka livewire. Mark is everywhere snapping at your heals like a possessed toy dog, not giving you a second on the ball. Mark is another one who scores heavily and sets up loads as well.
• Tony aka one touch. Tony has a good touch and a good range of passing. He may disappear for a while, but is capable of coming back with a killer pass.