Player Profiles

Sorry guys due to injury (broken toe nail) I am unable to write up this weeks report, though I understand it was a good 3-3 draw. However do not despair player profiles are here:

• Rupert aka Henry Winter (who? he writes for the Telegraph). I have a left foot and can score goals.
• Felix aka 100 per centre. I call him this because he does exactly what it says on the tin. He works tirelessly in midfield, attack and defence, can't moan about that.
• Stewart aka one-two. A common phrase used by Stew. Despite his ageing years he still has the pace of a deer on drugs. Stew has the ability to go past people and score good goals. One of the higher goal scorers on a Tuesday night.
• James aka the unmoveable object. James is a rock in defence, as strong as an ox and not many people get past him. James is like a good wine and seems to get better with age.
• Mark Badger aka Badge, Badger. Mark is another high scorer on Tuesdays. Mark is as quick as a greyhound. You may think you have the ball but Badge is deceptifully quick and can knick a ball off you before you know it. He also has a good shot on him.
• Mark Abs aka Cameo (know not the cod piece lot) cameo because that is all we see of him these days. The new baby and demanding jobs mean we only get rare glimpses of the boy wonder. Great touch, great vision, great range of passing and some wonder goals makes this veteran worth the admission charges. Also good in goal!
• Heath aka Mr. Defence. Heath joins James as the top defender. Heath also enjoys a venture up the pitch and likes to go past a few people, come back and go past them again just for good measure.
• Al aka super Al. Al may move around like your uncle Bob in old peoples home, but he still has some good touches and moments of class. You just knew this old boy was good when the ball was just pig skin.
• Tom aka the leader. Tom is our inspiriational leader and founder of Tuesday night. Still a quality player and has the ability to get out of tight corners with a little sway of the hips. Reads the game well.
• Paul B aka Mr.Consistency. Never lets you down hence the name, up and down, likes to organise a team and an important player to have in your team.
• John aka Johnny boy. A solid defender, reads the game well which helps him to time tackles to perfection, there has definitely been some Bobby Moore moments for John down the years.
• Geoff aka Simo. Nobody better in the air and starting to show that he has probably the most powerful shot. Recent efforts have reminded of us the Dutch in the 70's. If he does go in goal, then as you would expect, difficult to beat.
• Bob aka Billy Whizz. Bob can go from the sublime to the ridiculous, but does have the ability to fly past people and score good goals. With a low centre of gravity, he is not always easy to play against.
• Jim(mer)(my) aka Fireman Sam. Sorry could not think of anything else (he is a fireman by the way). Once winner of player of the year. A good all round game, strong on the ball, a good shot a good tackler and a bit of pace too.
• Shane aka Paul Robinson. Shane always a willing keeper and has some made some great saves. Shane also likes to get on the pitch and comes up with some goal potching goals.
• Steve C aka Braveheart, due to the fact he never shirks a tackle (Not!) Steve is another consistent preformer who uses the ball well and is another good reader of the game.
• Rob aka Ruddock. Has the Ruddock look about him. Rob keeps getting better, strong in the tackle and can show a turn of pace up front. Starting to score some goals now as well.
• Simon aka the ox. Simon is another strong player who will not pull out of many tackles and another good player to have in your defence.
• Jamie aka Beckham. Jamie has the look of a good player and doesn't disappoint, good touch, good passer of the ball and is a scorer of some great long range goals. A must for every posh girl.
• Mark aka livewire. Mark is everywhere snapping at your heals like a possessed toy dog, not giving you a second on the ball. Mark is another one who scores heavily and sets up loads as well.
• Tony aka one touch. Tony has a good touch and a good range of passing. He may disappear for a while, but is capable of coming back with a killer pass.